Celebration of life ideas: how to plan a service that feels like them

What is a celebration of life?

A celebration of life is a memorial service designed around the individual rather than around a fixed religious or ceremonial format. It can happen before or after a cremation or burial, at any venue, and in any style.

It is not necessarily light-hearted or upbeat. Some are. Others are deeply emotional. What they share is that the choices, the music, the words, the setting, are specific to the person who has died.

In the UK, more families are asking for this kind of service. SunLife's Cost of Dying Report 2026 found that 37% of funerals were non-religious, against 40% religious and 14% with both religious and non-religious elements (SunLife Cost of Dying Report 2026). Fewer people have a strong connection to religious ceremony, and funeral directors increasingly support tailored services.

Where can you hold a celebration of life?

You can hold a celebration of life anywhere that will take the number of people likely to attend: a crematorium chapel, a village hall, a pub function room, a garden. The venue shapes everything else, so decide it first.

Somewhere they loved: a village hall, a pub function room, a sports club or a community centre. If the person spent every Sunday there, that place will mean more to attendees than any neutral venue.

Outdoors: gardens, parks and coastline locations, which suit summer services or someone who spent a lot of time outside. Weather, seating and sound all need planning.

A place connected to their work or interests: a workshop, an allotment, a boat yard. Harder to arrange, but memorable.

A church or crematorium chapel: the standard option, and it works perfectly well. Nothing about a celebration of life rules it out.

A family home: right for smaller gatherings, with no venue to hire.

Check the venue can hold the number of people expected. Timing matters too, because how long after death is a funeral depends partly on the crematorium diary, while a venue you book yourself is easier to schedule.

What music should you play at a celebration of life?

Play the music the person actually listened to, not the music that sounds appropriate for a funeral. Music is where personalisation has the most obvious impact.

The difference between a room in silence and a room filled with a song the person played loudly in the kitchen is considerable. Classical music works for some people. Folk, jazz, pop, rock or electronic music works for others. There are no rules.

A playlist rather than selected tracks: compile the songs associated with the person and play them as background music before the service, during the gathering afterwards, or both.

Live music: if someone in the family plays, or the person who died was in a local music group, live music is worth considering. It does not need to be professionally performed.

Songs with a story: if a piece of music meant something specific, a song from their wedding or one they played obsessively in a particular period, explain its significance briefly before it plays. That lands harder than playing it cold.

Our guide to funeral songs covers specific suggestions and practical arrangements.

What celebration of life poems and readings work best?

Celebration of life poems and readings work best when they sound like the person, which often means their own words rather than a famous verse. A typical order of service has room for 1 or 2 readings, so the choice matters.

Poems and passages from literature are the obvious choice, and they can be exactly right. Readings can also come from something the person wrote: letters, diary entries, a speech they once gave. A eulogy that incorporates their own words is more intimate than one that quotes strangers.

Five that families often choose are Crossing the Bar by Alfred, Lord Tennyson, Remember by Christina Rossetti and Death Is Nothing at All by Henry Scott Holland. UK copyright lasts for 70 years after an author's death (GOV.UK). All three poets died more than a century ago, so their poems are in the public domain. Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep by Mary Elizabeth Frye and Funeral Blues by W. H. Auden are more recent and still under copyright. Check with the family, the celebrant or the publisher before printing or reading them in public. Faber & Faber, for example, holds UK rights to Auden's poem.

If you are writing the tribute yourself, how to write a eulogy covers the drafting and the delivery.

What should the order of service include?

A typical order of service includes a welcome, 1 or 2 readings, a eulogy, music and a closing. That structure gives attendees something to follow and keeps the service moving at a sensible pace. There is room to personalise within it.

The welcome: a brief personal introduction rather than a generic opening from an officiant. Say who is welcoming people and why. A sentence or two specific to the person makes a difference.

Readings: 1 or 2 pieces, chosen for the person rather than the occasion.

Tributes from more than one person: ask 3 or 4 people to speak for 2 or 3 minutes each instead of a single eulogy. This gives a rounder picture of a life, and no single speaker carries the full weight.

Something that was theirs: a short film of photographs and video clips, a passage read from a favourite book, a piece of their work shown or described. These need preparation and tend to be what people remember.

Guided moments: ask attendees to share a word or a short memory, spoken aloud or written on cards. This only works for the right gathering, but it can be powerful.

What celebration of life ideas make the day personal?

The celebration of life ideas that make the day personal are the small, specific ones: a dress code in their colour, a table of their things, their food, a memory jar and a collection for their cause.

Dress code: rather than black, ask people to wear a colour the person loved, or something tied to a hobby: walking gear, a football shirt, a style they favoured.

Displays: photographs, their books, their tools, their trophies. A table of things that represent a life gives attendees something to look at before the service and prompts conversation.

Food and drink: if there is a gathering afterwards, let the food reflect the person: their favourite meal, something from a country they loved, baked goods from a recipe they used. It sounds small, and it consistently matters.

A memory jar or book: guests write a memory on a card and put it in a jar, or sign a book. The family keeps it, and it often captures things that would not have been said aloud.

A charitable collection: if the person had a cause they cared about, a collection in their name feels more connected than flowers. It gives people something practical to do.

The coffin: cardboard coffins can be printed with photographs, artwork or any design the family chooses: a landscape, a favourite colour, an image connected to something they loved. They are structurally robust and suitable for both cremation and burial. Cardboard coffins typically cost £250 to £700, compared with up to £10,000 or more for a solid wood or metal casket (Pure Cremation). Ask your funeral director about bespoke options. Some manufacturers, including Parley Green in Dorset, can produce a fully customised design within a few working days of approval. For the wider budget, see how much a funeral costs.

Releasing something: seed bombs, biodegradable confetti or planting a tree give everyone a moment of shared action. Sky lanterns and helium balloons are best avoided, given the environmental impact.

How do you plan a celebration of life?

Plan a celebration of life by fixing the venue and date first, then briefing the officiant, then filling in the detail. The personal touches only work if the logistics are solid.

Time the service carefully: a service that runs long is harder on attendees than a shorter one. Most UK crematoria book services in slots of 30 to 45 minutes. Bridgend Council's Coychurch Crematorium allows 30 minutes, for example, and Walsall Council's crematorium allows 45 (Bridgend Council; Walsall Council). If a lot of people want to speak, consider an informal gathering rather than a formal service.

Brief your officiant properly: a humanist celebrant or civil funeral officiant will work with you to shape the service around the person. The more specific the detail you give them, the better the result.

Think about the gathering afterwards: this is often where the real conversation happens. If you want people to share memories and stories, give it enough time and a good setting.

Keep attendees informed: if the format is unusual, say so in advance. If there is a dress code, or you are asking people to bring something, spell it out. To announce the date publicly, death notices and obituaries explains how to place one.