What to say when a Muslim person dies

What do Muslims say when someone dies?

The words most Muslims say on hearing of a death come from verse 156 of Surah al-Baqarah, which describes people who meet loss with patience:

إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّا إِلَيْهِ رَاجِعُونَ

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un

"Surely we belong to God, and to Him we will return."

It is said the moment the news arrives, whether in person or in a family WhatsApp group, and it is often the first thing the bereaved say themselves. The sense is acceptance rather than resignation: the person who died, like everyone left behind, belongs to God, so the loss is grieved openly but placed in God's hands. In messages it is often shortened to "Inna lillahi".

Straight afterwards most people make a brief du'a (prayer) for the person who died, usually "Allah yarhamuhu" for a man or "Allah yarhamha" for a woman. In written tributes you'll also see "rahimahullah" and "rahimahallah", which carry the same meaning and are the Muslim equivalent of writing "RIP" after a name.

Which other phrases and du'a are appropriate?

Where a phrase refers to the person who died, the ending changes for a woman (lahu becomes laha, yarhamuhu becomes yarhamha).

• Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un means "Surely we belong to God, and to Him we return". It is said on hearing the news and works as the opening line of a first message.

• Allah yarhamuhu (for a man) or Allah yarhamha (for a woman) means "May God have mercy on him" or "on her", and can be added whenever you mention the person who died.

• A'zam Allahu ajrak, wa ahsana 'aza'ak, wa ghafara li-mayyitik means "May God make your reward great, give you good consolation and forgive the one you have lost", and is said directly to a bereaved relative, often on a visit.

• Inna lillahi ma akhadha wa lahu ma a'ta, wa kullun 'indahu bi-ajalin musamma means "To God belongs what He took and what He gave, and everything with Him has an appointed time". These are the words the Prophet sent to his grieving daughter (Bukhari 1284), and they are used to encourage patience.

• Allahumma-ghfir lahu warhamhu means "O God, forgive him and have mercy on him", a du'a for the person who died that fits a message or the graveside.

• May Allah grant him Jannatul Firdaus means "May God grant him the highest level of Paradise", and is common in UK messages, particularly among younger Muslims.

A fuller du'a for the deceased, widely recited, comes from a hadith recorded by Tirmidhi: Allahumma-ghfir li-hayyina wa mayyitina, wa shahidina wa gha'ibina, wa saghirina wa kabirina, wa dhakarina wa unthana, which asks God to forgive "our living and our dead, those present and those absent, our young and our old, our men and our women". The longer du'a said for the person during the funeral prayer, with its translation, is set out in our guide to Islamic funerals in the UK.

Practice differs between communities, and you'll hear condolences in Urdu, Bengali, Somali or Turkish as often as Arabic. In many Shia and South Asian homes visitors quietly recite Surah al-Fatiha for the person who died when they arrive, whilst other families don't, so take your lead from the people around you.

What can a non-Muslim say?

The kindest thing you can do is get in touch quickly and use the person's name, because Muslim funerals usually happen within a day or two, far sooner than the typical UK funeral, and a message that arrives after the burial can feel as though the moment has passed. Simple English is entirely appropriate: "I'm so sorry about Khalid. He was always kind to me, and I'm thinking of you and your family" says everything that's needed.

Saying "Inna lillahi" yourself is generally received warmly, but it's a statement of Muslim belief and nobody will expect it from you. "May God have mercy on her" works well from someone of any faith, and an ordinary "rest in peace" won't cause offence, although many Muslims will themselves prefer the prayer for mercy. In person, follow the family's lead on physical contact, because many Muslims don't shake hands with or hug someone of the opposite sex outside their family, and a hand placed on your chest with a nod is a respectful alternative.

Condolence messages for cards, texts and the workplace

You can adapt any of these, swapping in the right name and pronoun.

A card from a neighbour

Dear Amina and family, we were so sorry to hear that your mum has died. She always had a warm word for us over the fence and we'll miss her very much. May God have mercy on her and give you all strength. With love, Sarah and Tom

A text to a Muslim friend

Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un. I've just heard about your dad and I'm so sorry. Allah yarhamuhu. No need to reply, I'll drop some food round tomorrow.

A manager's message to the employee

Bilal, I'm very sorry to hear about your brother. Please take whatever time you need and don't think about work; I've let the team know. If you'd like colleagues to attend the janazah, send me the details and I'll pass them on.

A message to the team (with the employee's agreement)

Some sad news: Yusuf's father died yesterday. Muslim funerals take place very quickly, so Yusuf is away for the rest of the week. There's a card going round if you'd like to sign it, and please hold off calling him for now.

For employers, leave is often needed immediately rather than booked, because the funeral may be the same or the next day, so a manager who simply says "go" removes real stress. A widow observing the mourning period described below may also ask to work from home for several months, which is best treated as a request connected to religious observance. Our guide to bereavement leave in the UK covers the statutory position and what good policies offer.

What should you avoid saying or doing?

Most mistakes come from kindness, so there's no need to be anxious, but a few things are best avoided. Don't ask how the person died, particularly if a coroner is involved, because the family may be facing a post-mortem and a delayed burial. Don't suggest waiting for relatives to fly in or mention cremation, since prompt burial is a religious obligation and cremation is not permitted in Islam.

It's also better to avoid statements about where the person is now, such as "he's in a better place". The intention is good, but in Islamic belief judgement belongs to God alone, so prayers phrased as hopes ("may God grant him Paradise") sit more comfortably than certainties. Don't post about the death on social media before the family has. Gifts should never include alcohol, and whilst some British Muslim families welcome flowers, many would rather you gave to charity in the person's name, which in Islam counts as an ongoing good deed on their behalf.

Visiting the family and the mourning period

Condolence visits, known as ta'ziyah, normally happen during the first three days, when relatives stay at home and receive visitors from morning until late. Islamic teaching limits formal mourning for most relatives to three days, although if you were away or heard late it's still fine to visit or send a message.

The exception is a widow, who observes a mourning period called iddah of four months and ten days, a duration set out in the Quran and confirmed in a hadith recorded by Bukhari. During that time she usually stays at home as far as she reasonably can and avoids adornment, although scholars differ on going out for work and on the rules for a pregnant widow. Some families, particularly of South Asian heritage, hold a gathering around the fortieth day, whereas others regard such dates as cultural and don't mark them.

When you visit, dress modestly with arms and legs covered and expect to take off your shoes. Men and women may sit in separate rooms, often with Quran recitation in the background. Twenty minutes or so is plenty, because the family will see dozens of people each day.

Is it appropriate to bring food?

Yes, and it's one of the most useful things you can do. When the Prophet's cousin Ja'far was killed, the Prophet told his companions to prepare food for Ja'far's family because what had happened had taken them over, so neighbours and friends commonly cook for the bereaved household for the first few days. Any food must be halal, which rules out pork and alcohol and means meat or gelatine must be halal-certified, so if you're unsure, bought food with a halal mark or a vegetarian dish made without wine is a safe choice. A house receiving visitors all day also gets through enormous amounts of tea, milk, sugar and disposable cups, and containers you don't need returned save the family a job.

What is the family dealing with in the first few days?

Because Islam asks for burial as soon as possible, a Muslim family has to get through the official paperwork much faster than most. In England and Wales a medical examiner must check the cause of death before the register office can issue the certificate that allows burial, which has been a legal requirement since 9 September 2024, so a family needing a quick burial should tell the hospital or GP straight away and ask for the case to be treated as urgent. Many register offices in areas with large Muslim communities then issue the burial paperwork the same day, including at weekends, whereas a death reported to a coroner can take longer, although coroners must consider requests to prioritise a case for religious reasons. Full registration still has to happen within five days, as our guide to registering a death and GOV.UK's guidance on what to do after a death explain, and our guide to Islamic funerals in the UK covers urgent release, coroners and weekend registration in detail.

Once the burial and the first days of mourning are over, the slower work begins. Government departments can be told in one go through Tell Us Once, but banks, energy suppliers, phone companies and subscriptions each need telling separately, and Legacy Trail's free notification service can do that for the family, which is a practical thing for a close friend to mention once the mourning days have passed.